A Republican Congresswoman Turned Into A Sobbing Mess Because She Was So Upset Over A Bill To Protect Gay Marriage

Republicans are crying about marriage equality again—literally, this time.

GOP Rep. Vicky Hartzler of Missouri broke down into a sobbing puddle of homophobia as she begged her colleagues to strike down the Respect for Marriage Act, a bipartisan bill that would protect the rights of same-sex couples wanting to get hitched. Hartzler became visibly verklempt over the idea that non-straights might retain the ability to sign a piece of paper and declare themselves lawfully wed thanks to the bill, tearing up as she attempted to protect the sanctity of an institution with a 50% failure rate.

“Mr. Speaker, I’ll tell you my priority,” Hartzler said before getting choked up. “Protect religious liberty. Protect people of faith. And protect Americans who believe in the true meaning of marriage. I hope and pray that my colleagues will find the courage to join me in opposing this misguided and this dangerous bill.”

If we’re throwing around words like “courage” and “misguided,” we need to talk about that horrendous faux leather jacket, Vicky.

Unfortunately for Hartzler — and fortunately for everyone who believes members of the LGBTQ+ community deserve to be treated like actual human beings worthy of fundamental everyday rights — the bill did pass, despite her theatrical waterworks. We’re sure she’ll return to her home state with her head held high in the knowledge that her final act as a member of Congress — she lost her recent midterm election — was an overly emotional display of crocodile tears that the Gays of Tik Tok will stitch for the lolz.

Thanks for your service, Vicky.